If It Has Tits or Tires I Can Make It Squeal Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
If It Has Tits or Tires I Can Make It Squeal Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Statement Apparel — Premium Quality, Printed on Demand
Warning: once you feel this fabric, your other tees are getting benched. Gildan® Ultra Cotton meets studio-quality DTG printing. Comfort and color that actually last.
📸 Mockup is a tee — but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.
The Good Stuff
- 🎨 Studio-Grade Print — Eco-friendly DTG ink that bonds permanently. No cracking, no flaking, period.
- 🧵 Feels Like a Hug — Gildan® fabric with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Premium comfort from the inside out.
- 👕 Move Freely — Classic unisex fit with taped seams. The tear-away label means nothing scratching your neck.
- 🇺🇸 Good Cotton, Good Vibes — US Cotton Trust Protocol member. Sustainable, premium, American-grown.
Material Details
- Cotton Tees & Long Sleeves: 100% US cotton at 5.3–6 oz — naturally soft and breathable.
- Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 Heavy Blend (8 oz) — pill-resistant with spandex cuffs & waistband.
- Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.
Find Your Perfect Fit
Reference the charts below before you order:
Available Colors
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27.95 in (71 cm) | 36.22 in (92 cm) | 33.46 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29.13 in (74 cm) | 40.16 in (102 cm) | 35.04 in (89 cm) |
| L | 29.92 in (76 cm) | 44.09 in (112 cm) | 36.61 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31.1 in (79 cm) | 48.03 in (122 cm) | 38.19 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 31.89 in (81 cm) | 51.97 in (132 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33.07 in (84 cm) | 55.91 in (142 cm) | 39.37 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 33.86 in (86 cm) | 59.84 in (152 cm) | 38.98 in (99 cm) |
Tap a style above to view its chart. Measured laid flat.
- Use the color chart to explore your options.
- Check the size chart for measurements.
- Select, add to cart, and enjoy!
When Will It Arrive?
- ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.
All products are made to order. Please double-check your size before purchasing. No returns or exchanges for incorrect size selections. If there are any issues, feel free to message us for assistance.
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